My Wife Annoyed Me

Published on Sep 14th, 2016 by Pastor Ed Hlad | 0
My Wife Annoyed Me

My Wife Annoyed Me

So…yesterday my wife annoyed me. Not in any huge way but enough so that I became irritated. It happens among spouses from time to time. I am sure that I annoy her plenty. What was different about yesterday’s annoyance was that I was trying to be empathetic toward my wife. She had a long weekend, a busy day running around on her day off doing chores and stuff for church with me, she had a difficult day at work and then last night had a ladies meeting at church followed by a song she needed to practice for Sunday. As I sat all alone last night I felt myself getting irritated. I was able to stop, though, and think about how much my wife had done the last couple of days and I knew I needed to be empathetic and caring when she came home. Which I was…for about five minutes. But when my wife came home and collapsed with very little effort to make my life better I became a little annoyed. I had pictured her coming home and being so concerned about my lonely night. I would then be the knight in shining armor and tell her to take the night off. What a great guy I would be. But when she came home and just took the rest of the night off…I got a little irritated. After resting for a few minutes she asked if I wanted a snack and here was my moment to shine…but, being irritated I said sure.

Now I know I was a jerk and even knew I was being a jerk then. I really didn’t even want a snack I just had been all alone in my office all day and then all alone at night and I just wanted some attention. So basically I was acting like a three year old jerk. I had planned on being kind and empathetic but even that plan was flawed and made me the center of the story. How did I get to this place? Well, I was busy at work and things were a little stressful and so I decided to get out of the office for a few minutes and go get a salad from Wendy’s. On the way to Wendy’s I remembered my wife had a busy day and the ladies meeting at church and so I would have to make dinner as she would be too busy. So…I figured I would make a light dinner and a salad at Wendy’s turned into a double cheeseburger. Now (after eating the double cheeseburger) I am mad at myself for giving in and eating lousy again. I dug back into work but found my head messed up from the change of weather. The reading that I usually find enjoyable was difficult and had to be repeated many times. As I struggled to read our cleaning person came and told me that one of the rooms was flooded because an air conditioner overflowed. This was the room we had just cleaned up. I went and cleaned up the best I could and then went home. I did not have time to prepare dinner and so when my wife said we should just order in I heard my mouth say “Chinese” rather than salad. So…once again, I was angry and disappointed in my lack of control and self discipline.

Then my wife left and I was all alone with my dog who had horrible gas. I did not feel like weed wacking and so I sat like a sludge and did little to nothing. While I was feeling guilty my wife walked in and I forced myself to ask her how things went and then when she sat down to finally rest…I got irritated with her for not paying more attention to me. I was having a not so good day.

I am not telling you all of this so that I can cleanse my soul but to give you a real life example of what Jesus teaches us in Matthew 7. The irritation I felt with my wife did not come from her but from my own sin. Maybe your anger at those other drivers is not due to their inability to drive correctly. Maybe your co-worker is not as annoying as you think. Maybe it has more to do with you and your sinful choices than it does with their shortcomings. Maybe your lack of patience with your children has more to do with your lack of self discipline than it does with their childish behavior. I am convinced that the world would become a far less irritating place if we would stop and take a look in the mirror first. I was having a bad day. I was making wrong sinful choices that were effecting how I felt about myself and I took it out on others. The answer to that was confession and repentance. The answer was to allow God to demonstrate his love to me even when I was being unlovely. That realization allows me to be settled in my soul and loving toward others. In my sin I wanted nothing more than my wife to make her life about me. In my repentance I saw her need and desired to serve her. In your eyes your spouse may be falling short but that may be because you are looking at them through your eyes and not the eyes of Jesus.

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