Love Is…

Published on Feb 24th, 2016 by Pastor Ed Hlad | 0
Love Is...

Love Is…

Have you ever insisted to your loved ones that you do not, and then you repeat it…do not, want anything or any surprise for your birthday?  Have you ever been disappointed when they listened to you?  Have you ever told someone that no Thank You is needed and when none came, you were a little miffed?  Have you ever missed church for a couple of weeks and no one seemed to notice and you got a little hurt?  Have you ever missed church for a couple of weeks and everyone noticed and you got offended?  Have you ever received a card from someone that says that they have been praying for you and all that it did was make you wonder why someone thought it necessary to pray for you?  I remember when my daughter gave me a carved coconut that was a fat gorilla with glasses.  She said that she saw it and thought of me and so she just had to buy it for me.  I was glad she thought of me but come on!  Killer was that it did look like me.

Many of these kinds of thoughts have been circling in my mind lately.  I find that I have acted in a similar fashion to many of the things listed above.  To be honest, I observed these actions in other people way before I observed them in my own life.  Once I was honest with myself, I realized that I often acted the same way.  We make it hard for people to act in a loving way towards us.  We seem to like to keep them guessing and on their toes.  I think that this is because we can then keep the upper hand in the situation and we can keep them at arm’s length. Want to know why?  So that we are not then obligated to act loving back towards them.  If they are always disappointing us and not measuring up then we do not need to reciprocate.  We can justify our lazy love towards them.  That is brutally honest but, I believe, so spot on.

But that is too dark a picture to paint.  It might describe the extreme.  Often we are hard to please because life is messy and things change so quickly.  Our reactions and actions toward stresses and life’s circumstances often change from day to day.  Our felt needs and real needs seem to change on a regular basis.  One day we need a hug but the next day we need someone to fight by our side.  I suppose we can smile and just say that we are complicated people, and we are, but I think we are sinners who are often consumed with ourselves more than others and even when we are walking in the Spirit, we are just learning what love truly is and so giving and receiving that love gets messy.  Now that is a dark picture!  But not really, right?  We ARE sinners who are consumed with ourselves at times.  We ARE believers in Jesus who are just scratching the surface of knowing what real love is.  It is not so much a dark picture but a picture of reality.

So why do I say all of these things?  I say them to remind myself that I am a very hard person to love.  I make it difficult for someone to “get it right” in loving me.  My guess is that you are a hard person to love also.  I remember a husband telling me that he was convicted that he was not loving his wife in a proper manner.  He did not believe he was meeting his wife’s needs.  So he worked up the courage to ask his wife, “Am I meeting your needs?”  Her reply was one of the most honest ones I have ever heard, “I don’t know, tell me what they are and I will tell you if you are meeting them or not”.   She understood that she often did not understand what she needed and so she was not expecting her husband to know something she did not know.  Wise woman.  Maybe we can give each other a break.  Maybe you did not need my email or phone call but accept it as an act of love and allow your heart to be warmed by it.  Maybe you did need a phone call and no one called.  Pick of the phone…I know, again…and call them.  We are hard people to love.  It’s not that we are so unloving…we are just hard to love.

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